Month: April 2022

At what age did your parents let you stay alone in the house? I’m not talking overnight, but from the time school let out until your folks got home. I’m betting it was under the age of 10.

I can’t pinpoint my exact age, but I have vivid fifth-grade memories of unsupervised walks home from school with my 8-year-old and 7-year-old sisters and plopping down in front of the TV until the adults finished work. Enough time to take in Gilligan’s Island, The Brady Bunch, or Bonanza. Enough time to raid the freezer for an afternoon microwave invention (we weren’t allowed to use the stove.) And just enough time to have my sisters in tears through various types of psychological terror (I saw Mom & Dad give your Barbies to Goodwill) and dry-eyed before the car pulled into the driveway (Oh, look! Here are your Barbies in the back of the closet.)

Was it a different era? Was this afternoon independence a phenomenon occurring after I walked to and from school barefoot… uphill both ways? Or do some elementary school kids out there still enjoy this bit of unsupervised bliss? I think it still happens. It’s just not something people discuss.

And this article from the Colorado Sun reveals why they aren’t talking about it. In Colorado, they’ve just updated laws “to clarify that a child is not neglected when allowed to participate in reasonably independent and safe activities. Those include walking to and from school, playing outside or staying home alone.”

Wait just a darn minute. It was illegal in my state to have my kids do these things? They couldn’t walk home from school alone, play outside alone, or stay at home alone?

Not exactly.

But what was happening was a massive public affairs campaign highlighting the child abuse hotline and encouraging people to make calls when they saw something that didn’t look right. And over 80% of the time, the calls ended up being about kids being left alone. Guess what parents were the targets of most of the calls? Homeschoolers letting their kids play alone outside during school hours, parents of color, and low-income parents who couldn’t afford to have their kids in paid after-school activities.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m all about effective initiatives to put child abusers behind bars. That’s where they belong. But I’m of the opinion the pendulum has swung just a little too far to the “overprotective” side with our kids. Or in this case, when it comes to passing judgment on other parents.

Something’s wrong with a system where you have to write laws to tell you what you can do. Normally, these statutes highlight what’s illegal.

In the Air Force, we used to be jealous of Navy pilots because their regulations (unlike ours) only told them what they couldn’t do. 1.6.3.1 Thou shalt not buzz the tower, was crystal clear. But any naval aviator worth his salt knew that meant everything else was fair game. Thus, the inevitable newspaper article, Bothell High Grad Buzzes Alumni Football Game With Navy F-18. “I didn’t buzz the tower,” the pilot would protest.

When you have to start writing laws telling people what they are allowed to do, it implies that you’ve covered everything they aren’t allowed to do. And that’s just not true. We still have 31 states that don’t have laws against leaving an infant in a car unattended. It’s still legal to drive a tank on a public road (if you have the right mirrors,) own a flamethrower, and flip off cops. I’m not calling for more regulation, but if you’ve got to meet your rule quotas, we don’t need you telling us we’re authorized to let our kids play unsupervised on the local playground. Write something prohibiting all the “wrong” things and let us figure out the “right” things to do.

Just saying.

Note For Reader: I actually believe the government is “here to help.” Things just go awry in execution. If you’re interested in learning more about the decision to leave your kids at home alone, read this useful pamphlet from Health & Human Services!